Bye Bye 2012!

Si am reusit! Tot ce mi-am propus pentru anul asta ,am realizat!Sunt mandra de mine,mai ales ca in mare parte am realizat  fara sprijin. Nu pot insa sa nu fiu recunoascatoare unei persoane care mi-a fost alaturi mereu,mai mult decat oricine, in toate momentele,bune si rele,de-a lungul anului,si nu numai! Multumesc!

Cea mai mare realizare a mea este absolvirea facultatii! Este primul pas din cariera pentru care ma pregatesc intens. Am reusit sa imi formez studii in domeniu,insa totodata  am invatat sa devin o fire mult mai pragmatica,mai atenta si mai corecta! In anul urmator ma asteapta a doua treapta a carierei: examenul de admitere in barou! Nu  este usor de realizat,insa nu este   nici imposibil..si mai ales cand vorbim aici de incapatanarea si ambitia mea.

Si ca tot veni vorba de ambitie…am luat decizia sa ma inscriu si la o alta facultate : Finante- Banci si Contabilitate. Mi s-a pus intrebarea: de ce era necesara si asta! Am raspuns simplu: este necesar orice sacrificiu care ma va ajuta mai incolo sa imi fac un viitor care sa imi ofere posibilitatea sa dorm noaptea linistita,si nu ca majoritatea romanilor,cu grija zilei de maine. Prefer sa  am mai multe portite deschise.

Ma gandesc cu bucurie la anul care se va incheia in cateva minute. A avut multe momente bune,dar si rele,insa am reusit sa le depasesc cu capul sus:am fost puternica cand a fost nevoie si am cerut iertare cand am gresit.  Mi-am format principii dupa care ma ghidez si incerc sa imi fac viata cat mai usoara. Am invatat sa fiu mai pasiva.  Am constientizat faptul ca in viata trebuie sa fi mai rezervat cu oamenii,deoarece multe lucruri pot fi interpretabile. Am acceptat ideea ca prietenii vin si pleaca,insa eu raman,deci trebuie sa devin mai egoista. Am realizat ca cine te iubeste iti va fi alaturi in orice moment,insa nu multi te iubesc!

Cele mai importante lucruri in viata sunt sanatatea,linistea si iubirea! Imi doresc ca in urmatorul an sa reusesc sa le fructific. Imi doresc sa fiu mai sanatoasa,liniste mai multa..iar iubire cat cuprinde!  Aceleasi lucruri le  doresc pentru toata lumea! Sper ca noul an sa fie mai prosper,mai imbelsugat,mai fericit,inconjurat de iubire! Imi doresc sa dispara tristetea,dezamagirea si ura! Sa ne iubim toti intre noi,sa ne acceptam asa cum suntem, sa ne ajutam si fim mai buni! Imi doresc ca atunci cand merg pe strada sa vad oamenii zambind,injuraturile sa fie inlocuite cu sincere cuvinte calde si de apreciere, iar bataile sa fie inlocuite De imbratisari!

La multi ani!

Femeile sunt proaste

 

Cu parere de rau recunosc asta, desi sunt de sex feminin.

Femeile gandesc cu sentimentele. Ma rog, mai sunt si exceptii . Tot mai putine din pacate…

Ma ia cu rau cand aud replica :” ma bate, dar nu il pot parasi, pentru ca il iubesc.” Foarte bine atunci, stai sa iti dea bucati pana iti vine mintea la cap. Inseamna ca iti lipseste si tie o doaga daca iubesti un animal. Zoofilia este interzisa!!!!

Nu e de mirare  ca sunt batute, daca atat le duce capul. Si inselate! Barbatilor le plac femeile inteligente, care gandesc, care stiu sa se afirme, care sunt puternice, si care sunt elegante.

Sunt multe femei carora nu le prea pasa daca sotul le inseala: tot la mine vine seara, bani sa aduca acasa,  nu ma descurc financiar fara el, bla bla. Sunt raspunsuri la intrebarea : de ce accepti sa te insele?

Denota din nou ceea ce spuneam mai sus : femeile sunt proaste!

De asemenea, alta chestiune care ma irita  :cum sa stai cu un barbat doar pentru ca te intretine, pentru partea financiara??  Din nou repet:  femeile sunt proaste. Nu sunt capabile sa isi foloseasca creierul pentru a deveni femei puternice, de cariera, independente si sa aiba respect pentru propria persoana.

Se spune : sexul feminin = sexul slab. De acord.

Femeile, daca iubesc, nu mai sunt interesate daca iubirea  este reciproca. Daca barbatul sta cu ele, si ele il iubesc , e de ajuns. Nu conteaza de ce sta. Conteaza ca sta!

Iar tu ca proasta, accepti , desi sti ca nu te iubeste, il iubesti tu enorm ,cat pentru amandoi, nu? Sau nu, nu : crezi ca altul ca el nu mai  gasesti? Doamne fereste sa mai gasesti unul ca elJ) sau poate crezi ca nu mai gasesti deloc,  ca nu se mai uita nici unul la tine?

Eu una as prefera sa raman singura toata viata, decat sa stiu ca sunt folosita de cineva, nu conteaza in ce context. Nu ma las umilita si prostita! Ma duce suficient de mult capul incat sa constientizez ca in primul rand trebuie sa ma respect singura, apoi ma vor respecta si ceilalti…iar de acolo, va decurge totul exact asa cum este firesc!

Mood: stand -by

Ce zi este azi?

O zi proasta. Sunt obosita psihic. Atat de obosita incat mi-e greu si sa ma ridic de la birou sa merg in pat.

Azi am zambit mai redus..mai tras de par as spune. Si nu imi sta in fire. De obicei sunt plina de viata, de energie, dar se pare ca mi s-au cam terminat si mie bateriile.

Indecisa in fapte si incoerenta in vorbire probabil. Nici sa imi aliniez cuvintele nu am prea fost in stare. Tot ce vroiam a fost sa ajung ACASA. Stiam ca nu o sa ma pot odihni, dar simteam nevoia de singuratate si sa scap de gandul: “hey ,zambeste!”

Azi aud dar nu ascult, privesc dar nu vad, gust dar nu simt.

Dar incetuc ma refac… cand sunt singura imi intra bateriile la incarcat Mai este si noapte, cea mai buna perioada de meditatie pentru mine.  Sunt cateva ganduri care ma framanta, sunt cateva decizii de luat si lucruri de schimbat. Totusi, nu ma simt in stare acum sa meditez. Parca am intrat in “stand by mood”, santier in constructie J).

Din fire sunt hedonista, dar cateodata mai iau si cate o pauza.  Sper pana maine sa imi revin. Daca nu, cel mai probabil voi mai scrie un post emo.

Urmeaza trecerea de la” stand-by mood” la „shut down”. Sper sa adorm cat mai repejor.

Apropo,  este si ultimul weekend din vara asta.

Va urez un inceput de toamna cat mai linistit!

Sunt deosebita

Pentru ca:

…aparent incadrata in tiparele normale, ies din multime;

…nu dorm noptile;

…inima bate de 2 ori mai repede;

…imi place sa invat, dar mai ales sa citesc;

…incapatanarea mea este iesita din comun;

… eu nu am religie…eu am credinta;

…citesc oamenii;

…am un ras extreme de colorat, care face si celalate persoane sa rada, indiferent de dispozitia lor;

…stiu sa folosesc sarcasmul cu eleganta;

… iubesc si fara sa astept inapoi acelasi lucru;

… mai intai ma gandesc la tine, apoi la mine;

…stiu sa ofer o imbratisare la momentul potrivit;

…prefer sa mut muntii din calea mea, in loc sa ii ocolesc;

…stiu sa dansez pe orice muzica;

…stiu sa jubilez intre maturitate si adolescenta;

…sunt inconjurata de persoane deosebite;

…sunt unica..si sunt data dracu’!

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

Nu am nevoie de multe „ingrediente” ca sa fiu fericita : o dimineata in care sa ma trezesc in bratele persoanei iubite, un alint din partea celor care tin la mine, 2- 3 pagini citite printre mesajele date cu prietenii, in care punem tara la cale, o vorba calda de la mama…si o scurta plimbare prin parc..alcatuiesc o zi fericita pentru mine.
Sunt lucruri simple..dar care au efect mai mare asupra mea decat banii sau un job directorial. Nu neg ca mi-ar placea sa le am, dar nu sunt primordiale pentru mine. Deca cineva mi-ar spune sa aleg intre gramezi de bani, dar o viata privata de afectiune, … si…banuti putini, dar compensata pe partea afectiva…in mod cert as alege a doua varianta. Prefer sa ma bucur de putinul pe care il am cu cei care vor sa il impartaseasca cu mine, decat sa am cu ce, dar nu am cu cine.
Fericirea consta in lucruri marunte, in lucruri care genereaza un zambet, o satisfactie, o bucurie.
Acum zambesc…sunt bucuroasa…deci in concluzie…sunt fericita!!!

Pierd sau castig?

In viata pierzi…mereu pierzi cate ceva. Pe moment crezi k inseamna mult, poate gandesti pana la extrem : „am pierdut” totul..dar daca stai sa analizezi cantitativ reprezinta prea putin: pierzi un obiect, cu putina truda il redobandesti, poate chiar mai „updatat”…pierzi un job, nu e bai. ai ocazia sa experimentezi altceva, poate mai profitabil…pierzi o prietenie, ai timp pentru o alta, poate una durabila.
Indubitabil se intampla..dar trebuie sa vezi faptul ca o oportunitate spre „nou”. Am pierdut si eu destule, si recunosc ca de cele mai multe ori m-am simtit mai afectata decat probabil ar fi trebuit. Dar sunt hotarata sa nu mai fac greseala. decat sa imi pierd timpul „plangand” dupa ceva „de mult apus”, mai bine imi canalizez energia spre o noua „achizitie”.

Cea mai de pret comoara

Cel mai probabil trebuia sa scriu un post despre iarna, Craciun, etc…dar totusi…nu se compara nimic cu ceea ce ma inspira acum..si anume prietenii! Stiu ca am mai scris despre asta…dar pur si simplu nu ma pot stapani sa nu le multumesc pentru tot ceea ce fac pt mine, pentru toate toanele pe care mi le suporta, pentru momentele in care au fost langa mine, desi le ceream sa ma lase singura, pentru decizile (bune) pe care le luau in locul meu cand eu nu eram in stare, pentru incurajari si pt gandurile bune !
Nu stiu carui fapt se datoreaza « averea » asta ! Sper doar sa insemn eu pentru ei macar jumatate din cat inseamna ei pentru mine. Mereu am gasit la ei sprijin, intelegere, incurajare, ajutor de orice fel si dragoste!
Stiu sa imi vorbeasca frumos, dar si sa ma dojeneasca cand merit !
Stiu sa se bucure pt binele meu, dar si sa sufere alaturi de mine !
Stiu sa se descarce, dar stiu si sa ma asculte !
Stiu sa primeasca, dar si sa ofere !

Le multumesc tuturor inca o data pentru tot ceea ce fac pentru mine ! Sunt multi, dar totusi tin sa le multumesc si mai special catorva persoane : Alex, Cotoy, Deea, Ioana, Popicaa, Iuly, matusii mele de la Tm, Willie, Muxy , Fra, Dorel si familiei Centiu !

Legea criminala

De ce mereu la noi in tara trebuie sa se adopte cele mai drastice si infernale masuri? De ce continuam sa fim un popor insensibil?
Avem instinct animalic…peste tot vrem sange, moarte si .. restul condimentelor. Atunci ce ne mai deosebeste de aceste fiinte care urmeaza sa fie eutanasiate.
Cate persoane au murit muscati de caini si cate persoane au fost muscate de caini fara sa fie vinovate….dar cate persoane au fost omorate de criminali psihopati? Cate persoane au fost batute, violate si etc? Si pe aia i-a omorat cineva? Nu, stau bine mersi pe banii poporului in inchisori. Si atunci, daca pentru criminalii astia se gasesc bani, inclusiv de calculatoare in inchisori..pentru niste biete fiinte de ce nu s-ar putea gasi o solutie mai umana, gen un adapost?
Sunt total de acord sa se faca „curatenie pe strazi” si sa fie adunati. Si mie imi este frica de ei. Chiar prea frica. Si am fost muscata si de caini..dar asta nu inseamna sa le doresc moartea.
Eu as dori sa se creeze adaposturi ,sa fie sterilizati si lasati sa traiasca din banii iubitorilor de animale si din banii din fondul pentru injectiile letale (in cazul in care ar exista asa ceva, si nu se va adopta metoda „romaneasca”: cu ranga, cu furca si alte materiale contondente).
Hai sa eutanasiem si oamenii care nu au un camin,a,ce ziceti?

Eu propun sa fie eutanasiati si cei care au aprobat legea 😉

Cv’ul unui negru

It isn’t necessary to attach a photo since you all look alike.

Name: _________________________________________
Address: _____________________________________
(If living in automobile, give make, model, & license number)
Gang: _________________________________________

Name of Mutha: ______________________
Name of Fatha (if known): _____________________

Type of building in which you live: Shack ___ Ghetto slum ____ Public housing ___
Homeless shelter ___ Cardboard box

Place of Birth: Charity Hospital ___ Free Public Hospital ___ Cotton Patch ___
Back Alley ___ Zoo ___

Education (if any): Grade school ___ High School ___ College ___
If college, how financed? Basketball scholarship ___ United Negro College Fund _

Marital Status: Single ___ Common-law ___ Shacked-up ___

Number of known children you have: 1st wife: _____ 2nd wife: _____ 3rd wife: _____
Nieghbor’s wife: _____ Shack-ups: _____

Check qualifications you have: Preacher ___ Gov’t employee ___ Demonstration leader ___

Hubcap salesman ___ Rapist ___ Waterbed demonstrator ___ Gang leader ___
Controlled substances distributor ___

How many words do you rap a minute? _____

Current legal status: On parole ___ Out on bail ___ Fugitive ___ Other ___

Type of auto you drive: Cadillac ___ Lincoln ___ BMW ___ Other ___________

Was this car: Financed? ___ Stolen? ___
If financed, give repossession date: __________________

Check foods you like best: Barbeque ___ Fried chicken ___ Carp ___ Coon ___ Possum ___ Chitlins ___ Watermelon ___ Muskrat ____

List your estimated yearly income: Theft $_______ Welfare $_______ Unemployment $_______

List your greatest desire in life (other than a white girl): ________________________________

P.S. Nu sunt rasista,chiar mi se par draguti negrii, dar mi s-a parut prea amuzant ca sa nu il impartasesc cu voi.